You ever feel that urge inside that says to put stuff to bed. You know the one that is like your conscious but drives your spirit.
Now I do not have to get all metaphorical here but I want to point out something.
My situation:
I am in my last class. It is an online class and I can't say I am thrilled in the least about it. All I know is that I have to pass it to end what has been a long and ardous academic career. I am not going to bore you with all the bullshit and messy details.
What the fuck have I learned? In the last online class I had which was statistics. I learned a meager portion of material.
I am worried in this class because of this idea of writing. I am a fucking journalist? Yeah, I really am and that could be the problem.
I was promised my academic papers were fully finished. For christsakes I took my last English class semesters and semesters ago.
And now you're telling me in this online Tech Theory class comm or whatever the fuck it is...IT ISN'T DONE
Were we spoon fed false hope? I thought my last academic paper was behind me but now the academic writing haunts my ass.
I don't mean to be facetious but FOR FUCKS SAKES SCOTTY WHERE DID ALL THE LIES ORIGINATE FROM?
The fucking university that controls our money but not our freedom tells me this. I am easily ready to say FUCK IT.
Obviously, there has got to be a happy ending with all the hard work and blood put into school. It is that little fucking small white piece of paper called a degree. Without a bachelors where else do I turn. Toil, sweat, blood and even tears have made this journey.
So I am hoping that this class will be good. It is a condensed as fuck-class with 8 weeks of hard work. If it were taught in a legit classroom it would be 16 weeks.
So I gotta prep and get ready for this shit. I am hoping my attitude will change and humble me along the way. As we know an attitude cannot humble. I will humor myself and do whatever it takes to succeed. My brain feels like an egg that has been slammed on the pavement once to many times.
Mentally, I am not sure how much stability there is for school. I am in my fucking 6th year of college as I write this.
Would you not be in a similiar state of close-near insanity if you were in my position.
At the university of Wyoming I have pinballed from department to department. Are we not just a fucking pin ball to the universities in which we learn at?
I have learned a lot. That isn't going to stop me from being a sour lemon for all the shit they have given me. It is pure irony I finish the last class to an otherwise brutal and bitter sweet adventure, what is known as online. It cracks me up that I will not see another University of Wyoming classroom in a dark way. I wish not to even think about them at times. I am so mentally strained that another anything and my mental capicatator brain majigger will shut down.
I have confidence I will finish the last class of my undergrad. I'm hoping fucking trumpets play when the final whistle blows.
-Andres
