...
And now we are in present day...
WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ANDRES
Well, funny you should ask Mcau decided it necessary to extend the offer once again for the donut shop. Yet, going back to the egg in the previous part. I was turning into the sunny side egg. I wanted to edit that in the last blog. That is what I meant I was transmogrifying into the sunny side up. Things were so Sunny in Philadelphia.
That was dandelions and all good fucking things because life was stable. For once aside from my 14 + years of school I was good. I am good.
That's because when the extension for the job came I was about a 90% certain I'd take it.
Alas, god to me was saying no. Don't take the job that Mcau said. Not because he's a bad guy but because he didn't want me to take it. And deep down the rumblings of my being were also saying no. It was a money issue, it was losing friends, it was losing my amazing church community , it was losing the familiarity. I think for me it was a multitude of issues that I arose.
And mind you this was a whirlwind of craziness that happened in two days time. A crazy two days for me in recent years.
This was it! I would trudge a new path and my boat would sail for different parts of the ocean. God was blowing me in a different direction. And my excitement levels jumped to the moon. I am excited still for a new challenge, a new chapter in my life. My job was great but sometimes you really have to look in the mirror and dissect pieces of your life that make you...you. Take a hard introspective left and omit things that won't gel. God does that for me and I love him all the more for him.
In my relationship with god he's my shepherd and I am his sheep. I am obviously talking about the good sheep and not the Perfect Circle sheep in the lyrics "Come rise my sheep to the rhythm of the war drum." A palatable song that references the mass commune and their idotic lives that stem from a group think that drowns out any cogitation. That cogitation there is a large vocabulary word in our lexicon. The mass populace in the song buys into the idea that whatever politicians implore it is truth. When they are mislead entirely because they can't think for themselves.
And on another note, I was quite angry because my friend Gizo essentially was infuriated at me because I was talking or something during a movie. That's my bad. I just get this excitement vortex that drives me. I was going to say matrix but did not. He told me you're like a sheep. And I disconcertingly said oh no I am not. I am just known as a people pleaser. But goddamnit! I am not a sheep. I am so opinionated it causes confusion, concern and more importantly uneasiness because I will make my friends traverse territory they never would have even thought about it. If anything I retain the value of what they call anomaly. There's so much societal bullshit I don't understand.
I am a walking contradiction. I live in society but I live outside of the conflicting societal standards. I don't really give a fuck what people think. That's there business and I am Andres. I am a sunny side up egg right now. And what the future holds and what the Lord plans is on his time and not mine. Yeah, I am going to want to question everything but it is fun. For me I am just gunna ball out like I have always done.
Thanks for reading and learning about me through just tidbits of my life. It is you the readers that make me want to writer . What is a writer if they don't have an audience. A lonely hermetic person that slams on the keyboard just trying to utter thoughts. But the bad of this is to themselves. To the loniless that consumes them. It is abhorrent to think about. :)
Friday, February 12, 2016
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Sunny side up
I'd love to think of life as an egg sometimes.
Sometimes I am over easy and other times I am sunny side up.
I want to say this because given what has happened in the last two weeks, nay the last few days my boat is on a different course.
Don't you like donuts. I love them as well. Though, something happened when I was in long talks with my friend years and years a go. We talked about a coffee shop before anything. My buddy for anonymity purposes name is Mcau. Now Mcau is a brilliant business planner and thinker.
We had an idea with another associate named Rosen and Mcau and Rosen's relationship was great.
Every couple of weeks in 11' and 12' we'd go over to Rosen's hous and discuss their idea. They wanted to bring me in but my coffee knowledge is pretty bad. But Rosen educated me in a good years time. It was here where the budding business would take flight. It was here where the ideas would boil up. Fast forward....
Oh to 2013 ....which is not that much fast forwarding and you run into Mcau. I asked Mcau how are things and he told me they were sour between him and Rosen. And when asked why it turned out that Rosen had a new business partner. Mcau was snuffed out and tossed aside. That is straight shitty. But there are people that play business by different rules...cough...cough...Stan Kroeneke.
So the result of all this was not a coffee business but a donut one. It was in infancy stages when he purported that she'd be up and running by the summer of 2015. Or was it 2014. I forget . But lo and behold Mcau started a successful business.
This is where our story starts. Mcau in 2015 approached me several times and even a little before the year of 14' and in it he outlined me as a worker. He outlined the greatness that would be his donut enterprise. And he had me thinking about it almost year after year. Much like a sunny side egg there is always brightness on the yolk on the pan.
At the time I struggled very midly for work. Maybe even more than that. I was at about 176 jobs applied for and only 1 fake interview. S o I was in trouble. Suddenly, I would have a deep and long talk that ended with me in fucking tears. I was to leave the house because the ultimatum was not met. I was discouraged, mad , fucking disheartened, a little depressed and highly mentally strung out. I am not sure why I did it but I did it. I told my parent's on their accord I was leaving for a new place. I did just that...
I fucking didn't really understand this season in my life. If 2012 was pretty decent and the graduation hang over wore off this was worse. In 2013 everything went to shit. Sorry, I am double dipping through time here. I was in the worst mood, I had car trouble, I was in very tough fights with my parents, my brother, sister. I didn't really enjoy life. Though, the calm for me was solituding out to a place called ATA for solace. It was there I could in fact, be myself from all the bullshit and squandered opportunities. It was there I could chill and hang out and relax . Yeah, I was unemployed but it was there I found peace. Then another place I discovered was Safe House gaming. This was the full venture of my competetive gaming to distract me from the world. And it was wonderful. I am getting a tad behind myself. Soon there after my aunt would die of cancer leaving my life in shambles. Not only was I going to leave my home the family was at each other's throats in terms of how it happened. And to make matters far far worse. My grandma would go away in the night. These deaths would forever impact my family. It was so hard to see both of these people that saw me as what I was die. My car broke down. I was jobless. The hope was squeezed out of me but I'd cry at night not knowing what my fate was. I prayed for better days.
2015 came and re fast forward to a job I'd eventually get. Colorado Springs did not work out but my friend would have me right next door. We were roomates for a good three months. But I'd apply for jobs and not get anything. I'd have a talk with some best friends and come to a conclusion. Where I was at I was kinda stuck. I'd been in this stuck mindset mentality. I wasn't very humble and thought because I had a degree I could be a great fit for any job. My harsh pill to swallow was I needed experience. I was more of like and egg over easy. Just kinda staying in the pan of life.
Then...after the talk with more than a handful of trustworthy friends. I'd say goodbye to Springs and go back to the drawing board in Lakewood. In that first week I had a chip on my shoulder. It was bitter cold and my buddy told me he'd either knock me out or find me a job. It was here where my humble beginnings would happen. And not only that there's a lot more to this then you think. It was month three or four. My resume got handpicked by an editor at a place called Pine Bluffs. The man said "Hey we'd like to talk more to you about this reporter position." It was what I wanted. We talked and he said give me your clips when you get a chance. And I did. But I was so busy with Arby's and not trying to fail it got past me. "Was this really what I wanted?" I plaintively remember that it was but my clips were late. Maybe this was not it. Maybe god had something more.Maybe he was lining up something I could not see in the smoke of life. I had been so inundated with writing my book, writing my musical and working. That nothing really mattered. My buddy J decided that in that cold he'd find me a job. And he did. I became humble and I didn't accept the reporter position. I was denied the opportunity. But I couldn't meet what the editor wanted so he said we can't accept you and moved on. A month would pass and Arby's was behind me. I was no longer the sunny side up egg...
Sometimes I am over easy and other times I am sunny side up.
I want to say this because given what has happened in the last two weeks, nay the last few days my boat is on a different course.
Don't you like donuts. I love them as well. Though, something happened when I was in long talks with my friend years and years a go. We talked about a coffee shop before anything. My buddy for anonymity purposes name is Mcau. Now Mcau is a brilliant business planner and thinker.
We had an idea with another associate named Rosen and Mcau and Rosen's relationship was great.
Every couple of weeks in 11' and 12' we'd go over to Rosen's hous and discuss their idea. They wanted to bring me in but my coffee knowledge is pretty bad. But Rosen educated me in a good years time. It was here where the budding business would take flight. It was here where the ideas would boil up. Fast forward....
Oh to 2013 ....which is not that much fast forwarding and you run into Mcau. I asked Mcau how are things and he told me they were sour between him and Rosen. And when asked why it turned out that Rosen had a new business partner. Mcau was snuffed out and tossed aside. That is straight shitty. But there are people that play business by different rules...cough...cough...Stan Kroeneke.
So the result of all this was not a coffee business but a donut one. It was in infancy stages when he purported that she'd be up and running by the summer of 2015. Or was it 2014. I forget . But lo and behold Mcau started a successful business.
This is where our story starts. Mcau in 2015 approached me several times and even a little before the year of 14' and in it he outlined me as a worker. He outlined the greatness that would be his donut enterprise. And he had me thinking about it almost year after year. Much like a sunny side egg there is always brightness on the yolk on the pan.
At the time I struggled very midly for work. Maybe even more than that. I was at about 176 jobs applied for and only 1 fake interview. S o I was in trouble. Suddenly, I would have a deep and long talk that ended with me in fucking tears. I was to leave the house because the ultimatum was not met. I was discouraged, mad , fucking disheartened, a little depressed and highly mentally strung out. I am not sure why I did it but I did it. I told my parent's on their accord I was leaving for a new place. I did just that...
I fucking didn't really understand this season in my life. If 2012 was pretty decent and the graduation hang over wore off this was worse. In 2013 everything went to shit. Sorry, I am double dipping through time here. I was in the worst mood, I had car trouble, I was in very tough fights with my parents, my brother, sister. I didn't really enjoy life. Though, the calm for me was solituding out to a place called ATA for solace. It was there I could in fact, be myself from all the bullshit and squandered opportunities. It was there I could chill and hang out and relax . Yeah, I was unemployed but it was there I found peace. Then another place I discovered was Safe House gaming. This was the full venture of my competetive gaming to distract me from the world. And it was wonderful. I am getting a tad behind myself. Soon there after my aunt would die of cancer leaving my life in shambles. Not only was I going to leave my home the family was at each other's throats in terms of how it happened. And to make matters far far worse. My grandma would go away in the night. These deaths would forever impact my family. It was so hard to see both of these people that saw me as what I was die. My car broke down. I was jobless. The hope was squeezed out of me but I'd cry at night not knowing what my fate was. I prayed for better days.
2015 came and re fast forward to a job I'd eventually get. Colorado Springs did not work out but my friend would have me right next door. We were roomates for a good three months. But I'd apply for jobs and not get anything. I'd have a talk with some best friends and come to a conclusion. Where I was at I was kinda stuck. I'd been in this stuck mindset mentality. I wasn't very humble and thought because I had a degree I could be a great fit for any job. My harsh pill to swallow was I needed experience. I was more of like and egg over easy. Just kinda staying in the pan of life.
Then...after the talk with more than a handful of trustworthy friends. I'd say goodbye to Springs and go back to the drawing board in Lakewood. In that first week I had a chip on my shoulder. It was bitter cold and my buddy told me he'd either knock me out or find me a job. It was here where my humble beginnings would happen. And not only that there's a lot more to this then you think. It was month three or four. My resume got handpicked by an editor at a place called Pine Bluffs. The man said "Hey we'd like to talk more to you about this reporter position." It was what I wanted. We talked and he said give me your clips when you get a chance. And I did. But I was so busy with Arby's and not trying to fail it got past me. "Was this really what I wanted?" I plaintively remember that it was but my clips were late. Maybe this was not it. Maybe god had something more.Maybe he was lining up something I could not see in the smoke of life. I had been so inundated with writing my book, writing my musical and working. That nothing really mattered. My buddy J decided that in that cold he'd find me a job. And he did. I became humble and I didn't accept the reporter position. I was denied the opportunity. But I couldn't meet what the editor wanted so he said we can't accept you and moved on. A month would pass and Arby's was behind me. I was no longer the sunny side up egg...
Thursday, February 4, 2016
The cold and biterness
It is cold where I live.
The winds howl and the roads have been shit.
Given what happened to the fucking East coast with the mega snow storm we are pretty lucky.
Wow, this mechanical keyboard is incredible on my fingers. So typey.
Anyway, I have been a part of some insane snow storms where I live. And one of the ones that we had was a 4ft monster. I think I made about 75$ that day. Ah yeah. Way back when the odds and ends jobs of snowshoveling meant money. We have had harsh winters and mild winters and everything in between...
and still no Yetis.
I just wonder in these conditions if there is a winter big foot that doesn't look like a regular one. Like, one that has the coat of Yeti but is not a Yeti :)
Winter I think to me especially in these storms means coziness and hot chocolate. I love going places but the winter prevents that. Though, last year I was able to ski and ice skate. So this winter has actually been fun. Others I haven't been able to even go sledding. Just staying in the house gaming or going stir crazy.
Do you go stir crazy in the winter?
The winds howl and the roads have been shit.
Given what happened to the fucking East coast with the mega snow storm we are pretty lucky.
Wow, this mechanical keyboard is incredible on my fingers. So typey.
Anyway, I have been a part of some insane snow storms where I live. And one of the ones that we had was a 4ft monster. I think I made about 75$ that day. Ah yeah. Way back when the odds and ends jobs of snowshoveling meant money. We have had harsh winters and mild winters and everything in between...
and still no Yetis.
I just wonder in these conditions if there is a winter big foot that doesn't look like a regular one. Like, one that has the coat of Yeti but is not a Yeti :)
Winter I think to me especially in these storms means coziness and hot chocolate. I love going places but the winter prevents that. Though, last year I was able to ski and ice skate. So this winter has actually been fun. Others I haven't been able to even go sledding. Just staying in the house gaming or going stir crazy.
Do you go stir crazy in the winter?
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