This year has been trash

 Yes, you don't want to hear negativity but this year is trash.

I can't even get a clean  NFL  stream. A clean one, yeah, that. And it is all 2020. I have a brand new crack on my 14 year-old car's windshield . I have not had a car radio because somehow or another 2020 decided to kill that as well. No wonder people wanted to put up their Christmas bullshit in October.

Everyone has been done with the year since April. Or was it March.

Everything is impacted!

Football!

Dog walking!

Stores!

Your friends!

Typically in a full goddamn year I get to see almost all my friends. I make the rounds. This year. My best friend is married . He lives in Australia. But yeah I have not seen him now in 3 years or was it 2. Either way I miss my mate. My other best friend lives close to my hometown and I saw him last summer. And saw him 4 or 3 times last year. My other best friends however I have seen them one to two times a week. I live with another of my friends and I see him daily. But he is probably sick of me by now. We have lived together through growing pains, roomate pains, and annoyance for a full year! It is a milestone. But this year has been awful.

I lost my job. Got it back. Had to take a covid-19 test. Found out I have cavities. Had three toe nails just flat out gone. Ripped off or otherwise. Had a bruised rib. Had a bruised collar bone. Body has roughly been about 60% throughout the year. Had some fiber issues. Just wondering how to get to 100% because this year will not let me get it. Started lifting again which has gotten me through tons of things. Just wondering who the hell is hiring. Been rejected a decent amount for jobs. Still have my job but face uncertainty every day.

Still have to pay them school loans. They are coming back!

Silver lining.

I started a t-shirt business and it makes me happy. My book is halfway done. More new art on DA and I am trying to essentially limp into the new year. 

Phantasy Star Online 2 : Microsoft Horrendousness

When you want to play a game you've waited 8 years for:

This is my goddamn journey with this game.

1) Tried to play the Japanese version.

2) Went through too many steps to count to make it run.

3) Made it to login screen

4) It knew I was American.

TRY 1!

September 2012

Then the big gap of fucking 8 years.

MS decides to form a massive deal with Sega  in what many thought would be incredible.

Then we remember the goddamn Microsoft Store. The same store that can't function worth a shit!

I remember using something close to this when playing Gotham City Imposters (You had to sign into fucking Microsoft to play this hidden gem)

It was already a gigantic headache.

I am getting warmed up...

Try #2

May 3, 2020 

    The fact that PSO 2 has a 2 star is legit. You can't just launch a game and have problems with the fucking store at said game is getting installed from. The biggest issue is permission issues. You have to go and turn them on to dev mode. DEV mode in Win 10. What kinda chicken bullshit is that? The game doesn't even wanna run from the goddamn store. 

Not only this . If it wasn't for the mod community you would not have the PSO2 Tweaker, bless those people that made this amazing tool. Even then it is like a 50% chance of working. Because then you go through a gauntlet of steps to get PS02 tweaker to actually recognize the store, the game and work. I have reinstalled this game now 3 times!

There's no excuse but to bludgeon and murder the shit outta the Microsoft store. With reports this is moving to Steam we can all but dream.

Please now this game is not a 2 star game at all . It is far better than that. And at 8 years Sega is adding more story content than ever. Don't let those jackals take your fun away. This is a mog holly of 72.3 gigs. So you better have the space for this monster of a game. If you get the game to work which I have 3 times, just know there is a learning curve of all the currencies

But if you are a PSO vet you are going to fit right in. As of writing this I believe I read there are 4 million active people on PS02. Duh, you think?

Here are resources if you truly want to play right now. Now that you have gone through almost everyone's same horror story. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4hsCZ3pigk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0zE8top-6Y&t=296s

Oh and by the way .When the game works. Currently  I am a level 13 bouncer. I am enjoying the evolved combat system. I just hope I am feeding my mag currently the right way. Happy Arks to you though for getting to the end here-------

-Andres

Systemic Racism : Justice for Floyd

Systemic Racism

Why do we continue to leap backwards?

Why is there senseless rioting and looting and violence?

You do not take your anger out on property. The buildings are burning in Minnesota. There are curfews all the fuck around even in Denver.

How did we get here?

We got here because we don't understand loving another human.We got here because black people have been battling systemic oppression from white people a fuck long of a time. We got here because of ignorance.

We got here because racism is a learned behavior.

The names already etched in history is horrendous.  By senseless violence. Nipsey would be outraged over the death of George Floyd . Who has become a symbol of change in the USA. In our country where hypocrites and liars prevail. Systemic corruption bleeds into our society and institutions. 

But racism is still extremely volatile and ugly. It is never right to be racist. There is a call on white people to join the fight of the minority and black people. And it is the right call. Those 4 officers that watched Floyd die as he could not breathe and he cried out "I Can't Breathe" should be all tried for blatant murder. Arresting one officer is not enough. All of them should die slow deaths and justice might be served. It is a heinous act to not do a goddamn thing, when a man is dying and subdued. 

Above all we as a country continue to bleed internally. We are ravaged with Covid -19 in which life will never be the same. We are also headed to a big recession that is unavoidable. Care is the only thing that will get us through this time. God, is watching and we need to rely on him to pull us through. Because if we try any type of way , we will fail.

We need peace. 
We need triumph.

We need love.

We need to fight for black lives matter.

I was guilty of putting all lives matter. But this is not the case. First black lives have to matter. Black people are not just athletes as Jalen Rose said. They are not just goddamn entertainers, rappers and football players, or politicians. They are human beings. Human beings. They don't deserve to just keep appearing on the news for ratings. They deserve to live without scrutiny, judgement, or fear of a white person calling the cops on them for being suspicious.

MLKJ junior already addressed this.

Malcolm X addressed this.

But is the United States listening? Are you listening ?

Are white people listening?

Let's fucking hope so. Because if not history is being made currently in the form of the wrong type of racist fucking ugly history, we need to correct this course.

There has gotta be a discussion. Trayvon's death  was not enough?  Breona Taylor? Arbery?

"It seems sickly fitting that those killed by police today are no longer transformed into the anointed or the condemned, but, thanks to more advanced and available technology, they become hashtags. With a flood of more videotaped killings, a hashtag seems a brutally meager epitaph, a mere declaration that a victim of police violence was once alive, human, and didn't merit having her or his life stolen.

Unfortunately, the increased visibility of trauma and death at the hands of cops isn't doing as much as it should be. The legacy of our increased exposure to black death has merely been the deadening of our collective senses." -Jamil Smith  Senior Writer at Rolling Stone.

https://www.npr.org/2020/05/29/865261916/a-decade-of-watching-black-people-die

According to NPR.

Dreamscape

Dreamscape.

Last night because I had to pee super bad at something like 2a.m. -3 in the morning I went back to sleep, ya know-- and I hit REM hard!

I can only remember slivers of my dream. Were we looking for a clue?

Was it my roommate and his boyfriend?

I can't remember too much last night.

I remember maybe a white house and nothing too nuts was going on. I think maybe the local kids were breaking into just rows and infinite rows of cars. Needless to say it was odd because there was flashes of dream but as I awoke I forgot half of the dream.

Why were there kids stealing cars. Why was my roommate and his bf in the dream? What was the purpose. All the while it was an ambiguity cloud. 

I didn't realize how long my ass slept. But it was a good long while.

Odd. 

I think I got up at 1p.m. and I have been getting up from anywhere from 11:30 a.m., 9a.m., and then sometimes really shitty sleep.

Isolation

The world has practically gone mad.
Low toilet paper rolls.
People locked in their houses with movies and Netflix and Hulu.
And yet eventually boredom will set in.
Yes, it is only a matter of time.

The last time I worked was March 4th. As this putrid month should end it would be nice. We're under 7 days for it to end.
But then what?
Will April be the same?
I hope not.

This part of the year Iam normally am extremely busy. Now I am just trying to figure out what to do. I had a decent plan for a little while. After the 5th it was play video games. But even that has grown a little tiresome. Switching games has been helpful. I broke away from Madden 20 to play NHL 19. But I think even that has its limits. And very rarely can I watch a tv show from start to finish.   I'll bounce around shows. But I need to talk with someone about sports. And I did get that a day a go. And it felt nice to discuss Denver's brand new players. Without sports I am less occupied.

I have drawn two things this much and already feel like my wrist needs a break. Did I do that scratchboard in February?

On top of this shit show of a month or to add to it. My mouse decided to go nuts. It wakes up itself and the usb power is off. I found a solution! The fucking keyboard did the same shit. After a full month of investigating you have to set your power to something better. I dunno it really made me irritated. And then my Hyper X headphones finally died. And I am waiting on new headphones but that's all I am doing is waiting. Waiting for the world to be normal. Waiting for headphones. Waiting to go back to work. They say maybe April 17th. But I do not trust them.

I drew something yesterday and was pretty happy about it. But if I continually draw as I mentioned the wrist will hurt.

I guess right now it is a combination of movies, video games, and shows to occupy my time. I am still reading!

Dreams, Dreams, Plane

So my friend Banetto was in my dream.

Dream 1) We were all on this cheese wagon and we were rocking to and fro but it was not cloudy. In fact, it was hella sunny. Which is odd because you think about rain and thunderclouds in these sorts of dreams. He drove us somewhere. Almost, like going off a fucking cliff! But hell what did I know.
The dream ended as we edged towards the cliff. I woke up.


Dream 2) This was crazy I was in a big 727 airplane 737? I don't really remember which goddamn airplane. The plane was not even marked. Normally you see Southwest or Lufthansa or some other marking. This was a white aircraft. Yet, we were going to crash and then we landed in a field? Or something like it. The house was fucking massive it was a criss cut shape. Like it had a dissection of the middle of the house. So you could see everything. The bathtub was vivid in shape but I was being pursued by something. Not shadowy figures but something else entirely and oh god, the children in the next room were heavily breathing there was like a gillion of them. They weren't pointing to anything really just kinda fucking comatose> > <> And then maybe a 50's kitchen. Things got really blurry after that.

-.- :(:?