How bad are the Avs?

We are last in the league in hockey. We are trash and yet we have talent.
Varlamov can't save worth a shit and the Avs forwards can not score it is embarrassing.

Talk about embarrassing . The Denver Broncos need to beat the Chiefs to even have a shot at the Wildcard.
What a topsy turvy crazy-ass sports year.
When will 2016 end?
It is taking forever.

Thunderstrike

• Time4Sandwiches
 
• | May 23, 2014 at 5:09 PM
 
• | Posted in: Time4Sandwiches's Blog
 
• | 513 reads
 
• | 0 comments

The thunder wailed in all of the night. The black smoky clouds gathered to smack a huge thunder clap. It clapped so loud Aiden looked on.

This was a world with lots of lightining. Stark flashes streaked across the sky. The hollow trees swayed back in forth like some Japanese patty field.

Was there an invisible force? Who the hell knew? Aiden didn't care about the supernatural or "invisible forces." He decided to hop onto a rock and watch the orchestral thunderstorm. Each clap hitting a perfect note and terrfying all the besetter twins in the village of Landia.

He did however jump off the very rock he sat on and tumbled into the mud. The rain beat heavily and the claps happened faster and faster. He dashed as muddy as he was through the grouped and clustered brambles and high tailed it to his house. He slammed the door and approved of his movement. It was here that was home. Slog on the stove. And hominy chunks near the fire. His parents slept and so did his sister Svetty. He was damp but also dripping . How did that work?

He ate some slog and then stormed out the front door. His father screamed "Damnit, kid stop slamming the garos door." He galavanted again and let the rain hit him. He could not avoid it. He ran as fast as he could counting the numerous thunder claps. Clappity...clappity...BOOM! One hit so close to this old oak it shook him for a minute. He breathed heavily and hauled ass into the galor cave. 

Hideo Kojima the man with the exact plan

With Hideo Kojima's divorce from the most maligned company right now, Konami-- Kojima has challenged us already from day one with Metal Gear. The stories are confusing at time but they are told brilliantly and masterfully.

Goddamn the man is so good! Metal Gear games can withstand the test of time just like Ocarina of Time. But where they stand out and what I have always known is in the cryptic patterns. Kojima has to be extremely informed as a game developer. He encompasses world news, threats, themes, death, motifs and everything else in his game. But recently and I mean in the last year or so I have gone on a scavenger hunt.

PT was the thing that made me turn a couple more rocks over. Did Kojima have so much blatant symbolism that we as gamers understood his plight. Or did he want that creative freedom from the very beginning at Konami? Either way there is so many metaphors and cryptic messages throughout. The phone I didn't realize in the PT was a very telling sign...

And now with the newest IP Death Stranding I am back on the scavenger hunt. But this time I must read William Blake. Though, maybe in high school we skimmed material. Apparently, Kojima is fascinated on juxtapostionary prose in one particular poem. And for the life of me I forgot the name. But just watching about three analytical videos on Death Stranding I am that much more excited. Apparently, just like Metal Gear games he makes you think beyond the video game. He wants it to change your core, your soul and strives for something else that will linger within your heart. Even if it is sad there is this satisfaction that casts a brilliant shadow on the gamer. And I could not agree more. Games have been crafted and some last long after you have beaten them. Though, Death Stranding has a shit ton more questions than answers.

I need to investigate Ludens. They are key. And I told my friend the logo is Norman Reedus. Another hint. And umbilical cords? Where have we seen that before? So much to investigate as a fan of lore and legend and one of cryptographic messages.

The Dr. Pepper and the ice cream

The Dr. Pepper and the ice cream a tale of a float

You didn't see what I did there?

Anyway, today I woke up for breakfast in my aunt's house and ate trail mix and drank Dr. Pepper.

A winning fucking combination! I know.

Then for lunch to start things out I am eating ice cream. I had to refreeze it because it melted in the bowl yesterday. Damnit!

-S

Hellbound Heart

I was introduced to a book called Hellbound Heart by my friend Alex P.
   He told me it was going to be insane. The most insane horror book I have read was Call of Cthulu. It was  purely haunting. I read Stephen King too.
    The journey seems different...

It is time for a new post

I have been on Battle Star Galactica kick. I have never watched it all and what a perfect time.
And yesterday watching Star Trek the Nex Generation I realized . I read so much sci-fi and get lost in many alien worlds.
It is great!

I still need to find a new job after being fired. But all is well and I have to learn from it.

Ah internal thoughts!

But my friend has been watching or loving more and a more Star Gate. Another fantastic fucking show.
He wants the Anubis helmet. And thing is sweet looking but really expensive.

But I digress.

I have been watching:
Dig
Battle Star Galactica.
the Americans
I want to watch Shameless but there's a shit ton of shows.
Shameless
I need to watch more Big Bang Theory as well. I am on season 4

Anime:
Psycho Pass season 2
Battery   (not as much)
Mob Psycho 100
Hetalia season 2
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Star Dust Crusaders season 1 (so much Jojo)

Work, ching, work

Work has been brutal. And I love to use brutal because the hours don't make a lick of sense.
And if the hours don't make a lick of sense what good is it.
Do you just to turn into a fucking zombie?
Yes, that is the answer.
Does reality melt and blend? I dunno about it but Phillip K Dick maybe the 'King of Mindfuck'
seriously, he would be. After reading the book Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and watching the movie a Scanner Darkly. I was always a fan of the surrealist Dick just because of his melty presentation of reality.
Beautiful! Blimey-goddamn-fuckity --vundabar!
-V

Fuck this. It is way too early right now. Getting up at 4 a.m. is very hard and 6 is right up there as well.

For Murica'

I am watching the Americans.

A show about Russian spies that have infiltrated the United States during the epicenter of the cold war.
Or maybe the 60's.

Either way it was intriguing enough of a story for me to watch.

I needed a new show after finishing LOST.
There's a bazillion shows out there.
So far here is what I have been enjoying: In no particular order


The Americans (1 ep in)
DIG (1 ep in)
Game of Thrones (Fully caught up with books and show)
LOST (Finished)
Big Bang Theory (Season 4 ep 2)
Brickleberry


Anime's I am watching (New) :
Battery
Mob Psycho 100.
One Piece (ep 306)
Berserk 3D


                             

Years and years of Lost

Lost was so crazy of a journey. It ended with me in tears.

The whole show was a bit of a mixed bag but it ended up being so great in the end.
People complained left in right when it ended but maybe I was just sad.

I loved the ending but know that a lot has happened in my life. This summer alone I have had 2 deaths in the family. So maybe I was ultra vulnerable.

Either way it was a crazy journey and I enjoyed the 1-4 season. The 5th and 6th did not make much sense but the 6th definitely had solid episodes. Where yet again I was caring more for the characters.

I think some of the mis congruence deals with all the shows writers. There was a solid vision but it was muddied up with too many visions.

I feel that there was strong writing but containing a serialized show with that many actors is a miracle.  Again , a journey because I started it in 2009. So it took me a long while to finish because I was in college. I also watched a lot of shows along the way.

My favorite character was Jon Locke. He was so nutty. Yeah, you'd say Jack because he is a born leader but something about Locke also wanting to lead and not knowing why he was there. Always searching to get rid of the disease of his own idea of being disabled. Living transcendently as best as he could. The island calls people for a reason.
And yes I was confused about what the ending meant. Sure, they all died at different times but what about their true calling. Was it always for them to meet. There are powerful scenes, tearful scenes, action scenes, humanist scenes. Lost is about people with problems but we see ourselves in all the characters. Or maybe a little bit.
It is a highly cathartic show. Highly moving and ever changing and I am happy there was closure.
I didn't know how it would end. And it was a great ending the way it did. I am happy I watched it.

Some of my friends said the writing was lousy. But I took away different talking points from the show. I also wanted to see what other people wrote about it. Other perspectives for me were insightful.

Today is my bday

Today is my bday.

That is pretty much it.

I am 29 officially at 4 p,m. today.
It is 4:53p.m.

Bland I know.
But damnit it is my bday and I am here to enjoy 29 years of life.

:)



In other news my save file for Baldur's Gate Shadows of Amn 2 is gone. Fuck! I really need to restart?
20 hours of game play poof.
Son of a bitch!
But I remain happy because it is my birthday.

_:)

Catching up on old Youtube subscriptions

Insight.
We all have it in one form or another.
But neglect we have that as well.

I haven't been doing a great job on watching old subscriptions. People on Youtube I would follow for years and years. Eons and eons are waiting at the helms just cobwebbed out.

I have put them on the shelf. Because life got so fucking busy.  But in college I had my real friends but I also had my Youtube friends. Youtube friends exist for our entertainment. And to be honest friends my entertainment level hasn't been good this past month. When you think about food or sleeping on the ground it is tough. Or a job.

I need to dig back to my old Youtube subscriptions and live on the internet once more. I hurt my knee playing Pokemon Go. I was just walking but I am over doing it.

I need to come back to Youtube in a big way. Kev Jumba isn't there. Youtube is different but we have to adapt.

Hello Youtube my old friend once again. Hello Athene. There are new kids on Youtube Matpat, Markiplier and others. But I miss my old subscriptions.

-V

Windows 7 eats Windows 10 eats 7.

I started with fucking Windows 7 .

I upgraded to the buggy Windows 10. Albeit, I expected a very ugly OS but I got something entirely new and different. Cortana is not that. And be smart about your privacy.

But I wanted to reformat my computer. I was ready and willing. And then a literal storm hit where I lived and everything got fucked. My computer would not boot from an OS because my dad shut off the OS load. It was so bad!

I freaked out! Why wouldn't I . There was an article due that night. So I was livid. So much in fact I didn't talk with my idiot father for three days. Who does dumb shit like that but doesn't claim responsibility.

Ahem...Hilary!

So yeah it was terrible. My buddy Steve-o came through and saved my bacon. I am not sure I have any more bacon but maybe a bit. So now Windows 7 is what I have and I am happy. But I can't update it because I don't want to register it.

A) Because if I do that he can't really re-use his install disc.
B) And b the Windows 7 always has security flaws.

So I am happy with what I have and might have no choice to register it at some point and get 10.

Back to the tough drawing board

When you go to school for Journalism and a small broadcasting job doesn't want you.

I mean what can I do better.

I can't just at- will write news articles. I don't have relevant experience and screw doing internships that don't pay.

But--

Let me tell you:

Right now I am writing. I write daily. I am active. I write for a website doing 2 articles a week.
I am back to being unemployed but it is very difficult when you're qualified for a job of this calibur and can't get it.

I am really angry right now but have to turn into positive energy. I just feel exhausted applying for jobs.
That is the drawing board.

Hurricane of confusion

I feel like I am confused very easily right now.
I am in an unstable situation with awful pay.
 I can't really do much but stand idle.

Just the thought of trusting people is fucking pathetic.

Just pathetic.

My parent's don't understand the word trust. First it was betrayal then forgiveness and back to no trust.
What the fuck is wrong with them.

If they say something I expect them to do it.

Yet, they sit idle and just explain how they would do something.

My life is a bloody fucking mess right now.

I WANT STABILITY.

Is that too much to ask for?

Really, is it fucking really that much to ask for?

-V

My uncle died

Yes, my uncle died.

Yes, I am sad.

But I must move on for the fallen.


I am trying to take things one microcosm at a time.

And it is hard because I am in a stressful situation.

-I live with three people.

-One of them is a fucking slob.


-I can't get my mail.


So I just strive to improve the situation. Prayer is in some order.

Peace!

Stairway Down

I stayed at my sister's house yesterday.
I have been jet lagged for at least a couple days.

Anyway, she told me to go to sleep. And I obliged. But the lights were very dim.
Some flush type lights I had guessed. And then two other lights. The dimness was representative of a very dim orange glow.

But as I was sleeping I was distressed. I have no idea how to explain it but there was a mix of blue lights coming from somewhere

Where?

I have no fucking idea. I guessed maybe a usb outlet. Yeah, that must have been it. Though, maybe I was having a nightmare. But I swore to fuck that there were stairs on each side of me opening up.

There were no stairs.

Must have been my dream.

But it wigged me out all together.

I don't really know how to explain it. Stairs that stretched down and the light was off. But I felt them. Or something like them.



A lot is going on:
I have moved to  a new  place.
My uncle was at a hospice.
I just came back from Korea.
Maybe it was a full fledged culmination of all that is going on in my life.



--------------------------------------------------------------------

I am really not sure.

-V

To Hongdae or not to Hongdae

Hongdae is in Seoul,Korea and this place is very hip.

Located near Meyongdong ; Hongdae boasts 20- something Koreans. There are bars,shops and 7% alcohol beers.

Doom why do you need loadouts: What in the fuck?

I went to play Doom's open beta today and it is done.
Damnit!

I was having fun actually with most of the game.

CONS: Loadouts are stupid. They don't belong in fucking doom. Doom needs weapons and a fast paced non-twitchy kill that fool mentality. That's all. You take your gun and you murder people and the gun is big.
You don't need all these convoluted bullshit load-outs. It is highly unnecessary and takes away from the candor of Doom.

The Revenant's look amazing with ID tech 6. That engine is very impressive and you can see full remanants of what Jon Carmack built when he was with ID. We have to remember "children of the reads" that Doom was from ID not Bethesda. So yeah, Bethesda will have their take on it.

Unfortunately, the Revenant is just a cough of a powerup. The powerups in the game are just fine. 'Ya got your armour that is blue, your health that is blue. Or was it the other way around. Either way you have armour and health. That is fine. That is Doom. You have some sweet weapons . Check!
Seriously, the super shotgun blows faces off and why shouldn't it? The Rocket Launcher doesn't take into account splash and I find it harder to rocket jump. I love the engine it is brilliant. Not just that but the lighting bounces from different places and the darkness feels bloody and dark. And dare I say the atmosphere feels Doom and demonic. That is the essence of Doom. Demons!

Team deathmatch is a relatively fun mode. I often tried to kill as many as I could. The king of the hill game type is also very fun. It is a different dynamic to it. That makes me happy.

People complained about the speed. But ya know what. It is not that slow. That's just people bitching about speed. If you want speed play Unreal or Quake. Doom was never known for its speed or at least I don't think so. Unreal 2k4 and other Unreals aside from Quake Arena are the fastest lightning neck games I have ever played.

Overall, too--the customization is gorgeous. Customizing gun colors: For instance I had a green super shotty that looked rusted. I wanted my Doom guy to be all green. But I did mess with the color palate a lot. Which I think is good because it behooves you to have variety with your Doom guy.

So far from the open beta it is a 7/10

But I guarentee that the campaign will bring you back to Doom. From what I have seen it is good reason for myself and many others that Doom is going back to its roots. ID and Bethesda are extremely capable of delivering a hellish nightmare we all experienced in the nineties. What's not to love about killing demons in full bloody gore. The answer is nothing. Because Doom 1 and 2 seminally changed video games for ever. Whelp! There was Wolfenstein which was Doom's grandfather. But Doom being the child that it is will get all the attention. AND I CANNOT WAIT!

Bring on Doom Guy I want to mercilessly kill some demons. Cyber Demon I am coming to kill your ass once again!

My vlog

Sometimes when I am on Youtube I don't really know what to listen to.
Normally, it is based on my mood but lately I have been jumping around everything from Kanye West's Pablo to The Wanted.

Yet, what the hell? I want to just listen to whatever. I am finding new bands daily . It is cruzhhhhhhhhhhy.

I just sometimes want to fucking put my vlog and listen to old shit. Remembering times when music was a tad different, but this is like in years past so it isn't horribly different.
:)

And there's nutty shit like Duck Sauce . That band to me is hilarious but like with a crazy tone to them. Electronic with a twist? Twist-tronic? I have no idea as usual.

Or randomly just uh... Cristina Branco Ai Vida.

Some of this shit is pretty goddamn good...Ipunk.

The Stereo Flow... :)

Just it is interesting because I have been building this list up.  I am now at 493 videos on just my vlog lol.

-V

2001 what the fuck Space Odyssey?

2001: Space Odyssey back in the day was like Kubrick's insanely well painted canvas?
I am going with canvas because what it makes sense.

Kubrick had envisioned some great space adventure. And I missed 20 minutes of it today. I had never seen the film ever.

And to see it I was in awe. I think it came out in the 80's but I am not sure. All I know is I was visually blown away. Yes, this is slow sci-fi which is okay. I recently by that I mean---maybe about a week and a half a go, my friend Ian told me to watch Space 1999.
My introduction to Sci-fi is through books and Star Trek. So I mean also the obvious is Star Wars. But I have read so much Sci-fi it is hard to keep track...anyway 2001 was an artistic delight.
The dialogue is well done and sometimes the  camera angles are nauseating. Seriously, it moves at a sloth pace but it is Hal that saves the movie. Hal 9000 is incredible in the film. He's not just some AI he's a prominent character.

Though the last half of the film gets so confusing. Kubrick did the same shit with Eyes Wide Shut. And what other films have I seen of his. Though, Full Metal Jacket is a classic the ending works. Eyes Wide Shut you're just like what the fuck? Does Kubrick have a bowl of cereal and decide this will work as an open end to a fucking film.

Pure confusion at the end for me. I tried to follow the story line and it was very good until that last half of the film. I love weird  (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Pans Labryinth, Hellboy, )

My mind was proverbially fucking blown by that last smidgen of film. Why did this happen? What the fuck was that thing? How come it ended like that?

Goddamnit it is perplexing to say the least.

I am happy I finally saw the film. Now I need to hunt down the first 20 minutes.

Toodles readers

-S

I am not saying life is hard but what do you get when your family doesn't approve

A good example is right now.

I am in tears as I talk to my buddy. We're just talking about failure.
So why am I crying.
Why am I being a real person and spitting emotion.

Maybe it is because my past doesn't haunt me but my very nature of being hypocritical nature devolves me as a person.

But then I think I have god.


It is not all better but he understands me as a person. So I am not putting myself down but these circumstances and expectations when I try so hard hurt.

They make this cold circle around my body and make me feel like everything accomplished is a waste. Get this my sister laments. Get this certificate because you don't have experience. I have to use this as fuel and prove people wrong.
I am t he underdog in the fight of life. No I haven't lived in a gutter but I have to bite, claw , gna w and other wise fucking get to my goal. I have to. I have to be true to my character.
I don't give up no matter how hard.
So yeah I can cry. It relieves things for me but it does hurt.

I sound like a grown up baby. I am very scared of failure. I want the best for me. I really do but this failure thing digs and claws at my being. Is this the enemy?
Am I my own enemy?

God tells me he loves me. I always feel loved. He's here with me now as I type this and try to wipe away my sad tears. But what do I do?

I have to fight! I have to.
I have to be accountable for who I am as a person. I have to make decisions. I have to be an adult.
It is hard but I am war torn . I can do this!

Avies 2016 we need playoff help.

With the loss to the Preds today 5-2 we need help from the Wild to start losing.
Colorado only has 15 games left and we did add Gelinas and another defense men.

I spaced his name. I believe the Avs haven't given up and will need some luck to lock up a wild card spot. But I didn't get to see the Avs vs Preds today so I am not sure what they have to work on.

That reminds me I need to watch highlights.

We need to start winning Avs. Wait, I think the problem vs. the Preds was the goal tending. Pickard was not good at all in the game.
We need scoring from our lines as well. In the Red Wing game we weren't getting optimal production from our lines.
And we need to clean up the power play. It is not very good.
I am hoping we get these things corrected when we will take on the next team.

Who is it?
I need to look it up.
We play the Coyotes on Monday. Now the Coyotes just beat the red hot Panthers.
So Colorado should play a tough game and win.
We are a better team then them on paper.
Go Avs make a playoff push.
I want postseason hockey.
:)

The egg that morphed into an awesome one.

...
And now we are in present day...
WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ANDRES

Well, funny you should ask Mcau decided it necessary to extend the offer once again for the donut shop. Yet, going back to the egg in the previous part.   I was turning into the sunny side egg. I wanted to edit that in the last blog. That is what I meant I was transmogrifying into the sunny side up. Things were so Sunny in Philadelphia.

That was dandelions and all good fucking things because life was stable. For once aside from my 14 + years of school I was good. I am good.
That's because when the extension for the job came I was about a 90% certain I'd take it.

Alas, god to me was saying no. Don't take the job that Mcau said. Not because he's a bad guy but because  he didn't want me to take it. And deep down the rumblings of my being were also saying no. It was a money issue, it was losing friends, it was losing my amazing church community , it was losing the familiarity. I think for me it was a multitude of issues that I arose.
And mind you this was a whirlwind of craziness that happened in two days time. A crazy two days for me in recent years.

This was it! I would trudge a new path and my boat would sail for different parts of the ocean. God was blowing me in a different direction. And my excitement levels jumped to the  moon. I am excited still for a new challenge, a new chapter in my life. My job was great but sometimes you really have to look in the mirror and dissect pieces of your life that make you...you. Take a hard introspective left and omit things that won't gel. God does that for me and I love him all the more for him.

In my relationship with god he's my shepherd and I am his sheep. I am obviously talking about the good sheep and not the Perfect Circle sheep in the lyrics "Come rise my sheep to the rhythm of the war drum." A palatable song that references the mass commune and their idotic lives that stem from a group think that drowns out any cogitation. That cogitation there is a large vocabulary word in our lexicon. The mass populace in the song buys into the idea that whatever politicians implore it is truth. When they are mislead entirely because they can't think for themselves.
    And on another note, I was quite angry because my friend Gizo essentially was infuriated at me because I was talking or something during a movie. That's my bad. I just get this excitement vortex that drives me. I was going to say matrix but did not. He told me you're like a sheep. And I disconcertingly said oh no I am not. I am just known as a people pleaser. But goddamnit! I am not a sheep. I am so opinionated it causes confusion, concern and more importantly uneasiness because I will make my friends traverse territory they never would have even thought about it. If anything I retain the value of what they call anomaly. There's so much societal bullshit I don't understand.

I am a walking contradiction. I live in society but I live outside of the conflicting societal standards. I don't really give a fuck what people think. That's there business and I am Andres. I am a sunny side up egg right now. And what the future holds and what the Lord plans is on his time and not mine. Yeah, I am going to want to question everything but it is fun. For me I am just gunna ball out like I have always done.

Thanks for reading and learning about me through just tidbits of my life. It is you the readers that make me want to writer .  What is a writer if they don't have an audience. A lonely hermetic person that slams on the keyboard just trying to utter thoughts. But the bad of this is to themselves. To the loniless that consumes them. It is abhorrent to think about. :)

Sunny side up

I'd love to think of life as an egg sometimes.

Sometimes I am over easy and other times I am sunny side up.

I want to say this because given what has happened in the last two weeks, nay the last few days my boat is on a different course.

Don't you like donuts. I love them as well. Though, something happened when I was in long talks with my friend years and years a go. We talked about a coffee shop before anything. My buddy for anonymity purposes name is Mcau. Now Mcau is a brilliant business planner and thinker.
We had an idea with another associate named Rosen and Mcau and Rosen's relationship was great.

Every couple of weeks in 11' and 12' we'd go over to Rosen's hous and discuss their idea. They wanted to bring me in but my coffee knowledge is pretty bad. But Rosen educated me in a good years time. It was here where the budding business would take flight. It was here where the ideas would boil up. Fast forward....

Oh to 2013 ....which is not that much fast forwarding and you run into Mcau. I asked Mcau how are things and he told me they were sour between him and Rosen. And when asked why it turned out that Rosen had a new business partner. Mcau was snuffed out and tossed aside. That is straight shitty. But there are people that play business by different rules...cough...cough...Stan Kroeneke.

So the result of all this was not a coffee business but a donut one. It was in infancy stages when he purported that she'd be up and running by the summer of 2015. Or was it 2014. I forget . But lo and behold Mcau started a successful business.

This is where our story starts. Mcau in 2015 approached me several times and even a little before the year of 14' and in it he outlined me as a worker. He outlined the greatness that would be his donut enterprise. And he had me thinking about it almost year after year. Much like a sunny side egg there is always brightness on the yolk on the pan.

At the time I struggled very midly for work. Maybe even more than that. I was at about 176 jobs applied for and only 1 fake interview. S o I was in trouble. Suddenly, I would have a deep and long talk that ended with me in fucking tears. I was to leave the house because the ultimatum was not met. I was discouraged, mad , fucking disheartened, a little depressed and highly mentally strung out. I am not sure why I did it but I did it. I told my parent's on their accord I was leaving for a new place. I did just that...



I fucking didn't really understand this season in my life. If 2012 was pretty decent and the graduation hang over wore off this was worse. In 2013 everything went to shit. Sorry, I am double dipping through time here. I was in the worst mood, I had car trouble,  I was in very tough fights with my parents, my brother, sister. I didn't really enjoy life. Though, the calm for me was solituding out to a place called ATA for solace. It was there I could in fact, be myself from all the bullshit and squandered opportunities. It was there I could chill and hang out and relax . Yeah, I was unemployed but it was there I found peace. Then another place I discovered was Safe House gaming. This was the full venture of my competetive gaming to distract me from the world. And it was wonderful. I am getting a tad behind myself. Soon there after my aunt would die of cancer leaving my life in shambles. Not only was I going to leave my home the family was at each other's throats in terms of how it happened. And to make matters far far worse. My grandma would go away in the night. These deaths would forever impact my family. It was so hard to see both of these people that saw me as what I was die. My car broke down.  I was jobless. The hope was squeezed out of me but I'd cry at night not knowing what my fate was. I prayed for better days.

2015 came and re fast forward to a job I'd eventually get. Colorado Springs did not work out but my friend would have me right next door. We were roomates for a good three months. But I'd apply for jobs and not get anything. I'd have a talk with some best friends and come to a conclusion. Where I was at I was kinda stuck. I'd been in this stuck mindset mentality. I wasn't very humble and thought because I had a degree I could be a great fit for any job. My harsh pill to swallow was I needed experience. I was more of like and egg over easy. Just kinda staying in the pan of life.

Then...after the talk with more than a handful of trustworthy friends. I'd say goodbye to Springs and go back to the drawing board in Lakewood. In that first week I had a chip on my shoulder. It was bitter cold and my buddy told me he'd either knock me out or find me a job. It was here where my humble beginnings would happen. And not only that there's a lot more to this then you think. It was month three or four. My resume got handpicked by an editor at a place called Pine Bluffs. The man said "Hey we'd like to talk more to you about this reporter position." It was what I wanted. We talked and he said give me your clips when you get a chance. And I did. But I was so busy with Arby's and not trying to fail it got past me. "Was this really what I wanted?" I plaintively remember that it was but my clips were late. Maybe this was not it. Maybe god had something more.Maybe he was lining up something I could not see in the smoke of life. I had been so inundated with writing my book, writing my musical and working. That nothing really mattered. My buddy J decided that in that cold he'd find me a job. And he did. I became humble and I didn't accept the reporter position. I was denied the opportunity. But I couldn't meet what the editor wanted so he said we can't accept you and moved on.  A month would pass and Arby's was behind me. I was no longer the sunny side up egg...

The cold and biterness

It is cold where I live.
The winds howl and the roads have been shit.

Given what happened to the fucking East coast with the mega snow storm we are pretty lucky.
Wow, this mechanical keyboard is incredible on my fingers. So typey.

Anyway, I have been a part of some insane snow storms where I live. And one of the ones that we had was a 4ft monster. I think I made about 75$ that day. Ah yeah. Way back when the odds and ends jobs of snowshoveling meant money. We have had harsh winters and mild winters and everything in between...
and still no Yetis.

I just wonder in these conditions if there is a winter big foot that doesn't look like a regular one. Like, one that has the coat of Yeti but is not a Yeti :)

Winter I think to me especially in these storms means coziness and hot chocolate. I love going places but the winter prevents that. Though, last year I was able to ski and ice skate. So this winter has actually been fun. Others I haven't been able to even go sledding. Just staying in the house gaming or going stir crazy.
Do you go stir crazy in the winter?

Yesterday all my troubles seemed to melt into yummy chocolate

Yesterday, I was stoked because I recieved my web camera. It is weird because also yesterday I ran into the problem of mispelling recieve.
Weird!
Either way what happened yesterday is my web camera came and I unraveled the plastic and went to work. I was so happy it came that I made 2 videos with in a span of a couple of hours. Crazy....right? I tend to think so because normally I am shooting movies oh on a two or three month basis. The other cool thing was my friend Zo showed me his friends video. Yeah, it is like a he said he said thing but not.
His friend some really high quality stuff. And on top of that Zo wants to shoot something soon.

Zo had told me to watch this movie. So I put my eyes close to the screen. Then I saw a sleek and sexy WRX shoot by the exhaust coughing and all. It was sweet! But within the movie his friend somehow managed to shoot him playing basketball and the sexy black WRX. That kid has talent.

He said during one of the shots that his friend was in the trunk.

Yesterday, I was stoked because I recieved my web camera. It is weird because also yesterday I ran into the problem of mispelling recieve.




Weird!



Either way what happened yesterday is my web camera came and I unraveled the plastic and went to work. I was so happy it came that I made 2 videos with in a span of a couple of hours. Crazy....right? I tend to think so because normally I am shooting movies oh on a two or three month basis. The other cool thing was my friend Zo showed me his friends video. Yeah, it is like a he said he said thing but not.



His friend some really high quality stuff. And on top of that Zo wants to shoot something soon.







Zo had told me to watch this movie. So I put my eyes close to the screen. Then I saw a sleek and sexy WRX shoot by the exhaust coughing and all. It was sweet! But within the movie his friend somehow managed to shoot him playing basketball and the sexy black WRX. That kid has talent.







He said during one of the shots that his friend was in the trunk.

Fortress of Solitude

My life seems a tad stressful right now job wise.

I need to stretch for a Fortress of Solitude . Isolated from everyone and everything to collect my thoughts. Not even a Walden's Pond. What is a Walden's Pond . Is that even right?
Fuck it.
I still need the Fortress of Solitude. At home I am sometimes not even able to find that peace.

With a hell of a last two days completed. Where does it all go down. Does it go crashing like the show Lost. Or does it get rosier and greener. I am hoping that it is the latter.

The start to 2016 has been pretty good . But was 2015 the Pinnacle year. Was I just really worrying to much about this year? 2013-14 were not very good.

I wasn't even thinking about this year. I am just trying to put one foot in front of the other. This is interesting....

I guess a good Fortress of Solitude would be the Library. Where I am friends with books. I love people but sometimes their ineptitude strikes me as stupid. Why are people liberally so dumb? Not all people ? But do they deserve a Fortress of Solitude?

I have no idea.

I just want the year to be well. I am struggling consistently with this idea. But it has many factors to consider:
                  The Old Man's retirement
                  Ergo; His relationship with his son. Not being able to adequately support the family. This narrow minded-fuckingness of only retirement. Yes, Pops you worked for 39 fucking years but don't drag the ship down and you with it.

               The job where I try hard and only look at getting reprimanded for things that are out of my control. Much like the fucking weather!


   The unfinished works that haven't been published.

The best friends that live in other states. A rarity to see either.

The growing up part...still working on it.

Personal matters regarding an Uncle Freuben.

There's a littany of problems I need to battle.
And I suppose in a small way writing is that Fortress of Solitude. Blogging is that Fortress of Solitude. Art is my Fortress of Solitude. So I do have them.
But I need a physical place to go new...in the year 2016.

-Andres